so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
