I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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