scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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