I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
