wakey wakey hands off snakey
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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