That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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