just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
