It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
