i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
