it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
