dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
