do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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