she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
