Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
