Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
should my penis look like a turkey
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
