It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
