Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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