I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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