what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize