I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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