I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
