I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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