Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
