they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize