The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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