Me too!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am one with the molecules
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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