She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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