i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
