She's like a pop up book from hell.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
