But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
