Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
