Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
