This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
