Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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