well you can't waste a boner
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
