Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
