we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
