I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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