"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
