A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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