he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just puked most of my soul out..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
