Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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