Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
