Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
