**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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