I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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