dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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