Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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