I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
