my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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