You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
