Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
