Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
