I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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