the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no you cant smoke seaweed
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
