if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
