i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
