She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
