I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
