but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
