Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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